we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
