The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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