In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
