the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
