maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have fence marks all over my body
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize