I love black thongs
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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