Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Boobs speak an international language.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
