so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my being single is dangerous.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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