Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
tell me about the eggs
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
