Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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