I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
