I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
