before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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