It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
