yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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