last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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