all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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