I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
