Can i not drive my cunt home
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
