DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Pants are for mortals
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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