I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize