I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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