Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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