there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
there is glitter all over my balls
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
