Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
