Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
