lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
