is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
