My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
