with your own penis?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
