I can't watch pbs sober anymore
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
