cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
