So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
