I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i drank out of a bidet.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
