Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
