Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
