Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
