you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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