Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
