Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
