question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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