I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
