"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
