You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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