vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
