brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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