I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
