margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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