Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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