fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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