I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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