wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize