hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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