She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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