Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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