the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
