i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize