btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
