Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
