let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
