I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
that is very illegal...i love you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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