butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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